To be given any one of these losses to deal with would have been hard enough but to cope with that level of loss seemed too much for anyone to bear. At the beginning she thought she just had to get through the next minute, hour, day and then she could collapse. Victoria couldnít believe that time was carrying on without them, how could the clock still be ticking when her whole life had ended?
But it hadnít and she slowly realized that time doesnít stop, incredible as it is, and one has to find the strength to keep going. She puts it down to human survival instinct and an equally powerful maternal instinct.
One of the hardest things for Victoria was having to redefine who she is. Whilst she is still the same Victoria she was before the accident with the same character hasnít changed she is no longer a happily married mother of four.
She now ticks boxes, which she could never have dreamed of - widow, trauma victim, amputee, bereaved mother, disabled person. Her everyday worries have gone from what to cook the kids for dinner, whether they are going to be late for their swimming lesson etc to will her son Kit keep his leg, how will they grow up without a father, and the challenges of learning to walk on a prosthetic leg. Real worries which Victoria says really does put everything else into perspective.
She says she didnít really ever appreciate what she had because she was always in too much of a rush. Now she would give anything to hug Nicko one more time or to read Emily another bedtime story and kiss her goodnight.
Victoria has now learnt how to appreciate life in a new way and to live in the moment so much more than she used to. She tries to enjoy everything she does as she knows how lucky she is to be alive, that life is a gift and she is living it.
Fortunately not many people will have to cope with the level of her loss but the lessons she has learnt are ones she shares with audiences around the UK. Hugely inspiring she explains how she survived without turning to sleeping pills, anti depressants or any other short term pain relievers. Her speeches are also about resilience and why she truly believes we can overcome anything life throws at us. Stronger than she was before a tragedy her mantra is positivity over adversity, whatever that adversity is.